Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Singlehood: am I fixable?

Singlehood: Am I fixable? Wait, wait, and before you go off on a rampage about "what do you mean am I fixable" hear me out for a few seconds. On my walk to the bus this morning I couldn't help but to think of the many things in my life that I am improving or fixing. Nothing wrong with fixing, I mean life is simply about growing and learning through our mistakes. As I pondered on the different areas of my life, and the many times I have tried to find solutions with steps on how to improve, I couldn't help but to think on the different things I desire for my life at the age of thirty. Not to sound cliché about things, but yes turning 30 was pivotal because the number simply reminded me that I had been on this earth for 30 years, and what have I learned. No, I didn't cry my eyes our or walked around depressed for months dreading the big 30, I was actually excited because I had only good expectations of my coming years. So many lessons that have been learned and opportunities have been presented, but all have been approached with a learning attitude. Haven't we all made mistakes, indeed, but it's not about the mistakes we have made but the lessons we have learned. Some of us will live our lives making mistakes, because we are not perfect, but only some (very few) will choose to learn from these. Learning takes humility, really removing the pride and stubbornness that leads us to believe that we are always right. Hey nothing wrong with a little confidence but when it gets in the way of growing, we should be very concerned. If I wrote all my lessons learned in my life, I would be writing a book... (not a bad idea) because man have I learned a thing here and there about life. I am constantly fascinated with the idea of growth, but challenged with concept of change. Security for me has been my refuge, yet, because of my (loosely throwing this out here) Type A personality at times, it can also get in the way of my ability to settle into wavering challenges. I try with great effort to learn the art of “delayed gratification” so that my present decisions and present struggles are not my life’s monster. Society and culture has a way of imposing limitations and expectations that are not considerate at all of God’s plan for our lives. I have heard so many single ladies like myself that find themselves questioning their purpose because they are simply not in a relationship. Now, don’t get me wrong it is ok to be reflective and take a moment to ponder about one’s life and decisions but no need to be limited to what this world expects from us. So, do I need fixing?... being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus Philippians 1:6. We should seek constant growth, but because you are single doesn’t make you damaged goods. I have seen plenty relationships that are not the healthiest functioning ones, so in the meantime, while GOD is preparing and teaching us in this path; let us not put ourselves down. On the contrary let’s take each moment we face, and learn from it. Take the time to appreciate where you are and go where life wants to take you. Allow for your life to take the course intended for it. Live freely! Be confident that your love and peace comes from above. As I continue to endure this path of singlehood, I continue to find myself more and more appreciative of life and with a greater understanding of what I should value.

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