What makes you feel special?

This one will be short and sweet as I still continue to figure some of this stuff out. What is feeling special? What does it take for me to feel special? Will it take a trip, a nice outfit, a diamond, a good job, a kiss, a man, ... what is it that makes us feel valuable? I haven't been in a relationship in a well real long time that it is safe to say that I have never been on in one. Somehow I don't really know what feeling special in a relationship is but as I get older and learn so much more about how confident and strong I have become things have changed for me. I am not saying that people shouldn't contribute or that certain moments won't make us feel special but what exactly makes us feel special? I have to really analyze my own life and figure out what things make me feel special. What is the core of who Gaby is? What makes me feel strong, valuable and worthy of the best? So many times I feel like we depend on other people to make us feel special, not that they shouldn't but what if the person let's us down, what then? Will we lose value of who we are? Will we be depressed? So many questions I know, but I am trying to figure out where do we draw the balance. So far, I have learned that I feel good, when other people love me, when they make time for me but letting that identify or define my quality or value seems rather unrealistic to me. Don't worry I am not saying that I am 100% correct, I can be very much wrong and have much more to learn about all of this.. meanwhile I find it all mind boggling.

I will open my heart and emotions to a man one day but meanwhile as a single person what makes me feel special? Will I not be completely special or happy until a man comes into my life? I say NO, if I cannot be happy now, there is no way on earth a man can be held responsible for my happiness or value. While every woman likes a gift, loves some chocolate and flowers... is that all that makes me happy and feel special?

Right now, I am learning to value myself for the woman I have become. While many of us women struggle with insecurity because of the meaningless limits placed by the world, media and society we need to acknowledge the incredible amount of strength that we have developed over the years. One thing that I always say quoted by Joyce Meyers is " I am not where I need to be, but I am not where i used to be".... remember YOU have come a long way... things have come your way that have tried to deviate you from the purpose in life but you have made it. Never stop dreaming, while finding a man, planning a future, may seem like sometimes the most important thing in our life.. while finding love we shouldn't forget about ourselves. Nothing will make You and I a better team player than a strong confident woman that has overcome adversity and learned her value.

Just saying. =)

Like bull riding?

"it's not if you get hurt, it's when." -- this is a quote that bull riders say very often.

Life has been described as a roller coaster amongst many other adventurous rides, but today as I walked back from work the only thing I can think of is "bull riding". Now, I know that like me, many of us have just seen this sport but have no idea what are the rules to the game or how can this even be a game. I did some research on this sport and from what I read the only rule to this sport is, well stay on the ride for more than 8 seconds. I am not going to focus on how the game is scored but on how it is important to stay on this bull ride for 8 seconds.

Now what do you need to to bull ride: Here are some basics, bull riding vest, bull rope, bull riding glove, rosin, boots and helmet. The vest helps protect against punctures during the pulls done in this bull ride, the glove protects your hands, the rosin is an interesting tool that is used to make the rope stickier for a better grip, (it is a rock form that is rubbed on the rope), and well the rest are all protective armors. That being said, every rough ride requires a special armor, --- Ephesians 6:10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. We won't be able to stay on this bull ride if we are not properly equipped. And like every rider we need to make sure that in our path we are equipped to face whatever is thrown our way.

Sometimes we want to become champions and overcome, become the best but fail to acknowledge on how to do so. If we want to beat those 8 seconds that are required we must make sure we have the proper tools. How equipped are you for this bull ride?


What bull ride you ask? That life of ours that can sometimes be described like a bull ride. When having a strong grip on those horns is all you have left. When holding on to dear life, in hopes of not falling, is all that matters. This is a life bull life ride. A verse that comes to mind as I write this is: "We rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." Romans 5:3-4 So yes, this bull ride will leave some scars, it will have some moments of pain but at the end of it all we know that it will just build a positive traits in our life. So although, this path is a great one, and everyday I face life I appreciate every moment i can of it, I can't help to feel as if sometimes I am almost bouncing all over the place with this ride. So don't think that life is supposed to be all dandy and pretty all the time, because NO we will have our rough days.

You see on this ride, the good part of it all is that even though it will toss you around we have to remember to get back on the ride even when we do fall. Psalms 37:24 Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand. I know that we put effort into living each day and trying to stay on the ride or on track with life, we do feel weak sometimes but just keep in mind always our reward that lies ahead. "Be strong. therefore, and let not your hands be weak and slack, for your work shall be rewarded." 2 Chronicles 15:7

So are you on a eight second ride, right now? Do you feel like you are being tossed around? What will you do? Are you ready to grab the bull by those horns, grip that rope and stay on no matter what?


http://rodeo.about.com/cs/bullriding/a/bullbasics.htm

Running towards love.

As runners we set ourselves to run towards our fitness goals, some of which we have yet to see. Yet we continue to run knowing that it is through perseverance that we will see the results. Live a life like a runner, eating healthy, making commitments to running certain distances. Point is we live our life as runners. How can I live my life in love and impact others so that they know I am a runner/lover. Don't get me wrong, not a lover as we may know it, but a love that imparts love through the mere act of living. Like our faith, love has undergone it's own personal turmoils. I want to believe that I have been able to display love in the past? But how true can I be to my own heart. This leads me to my other question. Is love something you believe in only when you see it? Or is love something you start to believe within your heart without even meeting a "person" or a "moment" that will change it all? For a while I have analyzed my own feeling towards love and I guess all these dating shows have helped develop what seems to be a bit of an interest into the depth of love. I was watching something today, yes another dating show "Millionaire Matchmaker" and one thing the host of the show said was "she would give up everything for 'true love'. So I went ahead and asked myself the same question, what would I give up, and do I have to really give up something in response to love? To be honest at this point in my life, I find myself one moment saying, YES I will, I will give it up all to find love but what is "all" that I have to give up? Like running I have had to give up laziness and unhealthy eating habits but what will I have to give up to walk in constant love? Not always I follow through my plan for running and find myself putting excuses in order to walk a life fully satisfied and filled with love. I have faced moments of frustration when things haven't worked out in my running routine and take me off course for a while, and in my "love walk" I have also found moments that seem to take me off course. Things that make me question will I ever really live a life of a runner/lover?

I have to say that deep in my heart I do believe in love, or at least I try. But can I truly believe in it without being a champion of love? How can I face adversity and still claim a life of love? For a long time I have continuously tried to remain optimistic about love, and can say that a good part of me does believe in it. Love is such a strong word. Because of love many have overcome hardships in their lives. Love conquers all things; let us too surrender to love.- Virgil Can we say that we believe this? In my own experience, I have learned that LOVE is so strong that at the end it does allow us to feel a sense of hope even in the most helpless situations in life. How else can we face the world? How else can we live our lives with our heads up high when the world seems to be collapsing all around us? I know that we will all have our good and bad days, we will have days when life will not be a rainbow with unicorns but do what we do with that day will determine how will you approach the next big moment in our life.

There are many things I don't know, and there are other things I have learned. Bottom line is we never fail to learn as long as we keep things in perspective. Love cannot guarantee that things will work out the way we want them but it will give us a reason to keep going. Perhaps my "love" life in all spectrums of it is not at it's best right now but I stick to believing that if I continue to believe in this love that has saved me from an eternity of fire it will keep me from my daily fires. I seek to find not only the agape, eros but all the loves, philia and storge. So aim to never give up on love, whether it is in your friendships, love life, family or just loving yourself remember that at the end of the day we will conquer all as long as we continue to believe in LOVE and it's ability. Like you live your life striving to improve and work towards your fitness goals, life your life striving to live a life of LOVE. Knowing that putting the work will only promise you a guarantee that you it will come to you.

End of the day, while finding my walk in true love, I will continue to believe in true love. Don't live your life so much searching for it, just believe in it, knowing that at its due time it will come to you. You will be a pro-lover/runner. =)

Love concedes in a moment what we can hardly attain by effort after years of toil.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goeth

Love 2011 <3

I continue to believe.

I know there are some situations in our lives that we think perhaps, just perhaps hope and love will not be enough. I know for one that it is in my nature to always be hopeful about certain situations in my life. Don't get me wrong, I have my off days where I will be certain that I won't make it. Those thoughts come to each and one of us, there is not escaping however it is our duty to move forward and not let those thought empower our lives. Recently I have been reading and hearing alot about the power of the tongue and how it can impact our lives, positively or negatively. I know that I along with you have had had our moments where we wondered if hope would be enough to get us through certain situations in life. We I chose to not wonder but believe. That is the gift of hope, we have choices in our lives. We can chose to wonder, or believe that it will happen.

Yes, let's face it some situations are not going to happen but remember the essence of hope. A friend shared with us yesterday a truth to hope. Why hope on something we already have? The amazingness of this hope we hold on to so tight is that we are somehow giving a guarantee that because of our continious belief that GOD will take care of our problems, we are at peace. That brings me to this, what is peace? Is it knowing that things will be okay? Or seeing a problem resolved? I know that i tend to lose sight of the true meaning of peace, because I get caught up in the problem. I am learning as we all are, that because I have peace I trust that all is going to be okay and things will change. You see in order for us to see the wonderful results of hope we must believe. So don't just assume that because you are hopefull things will magically happen. Every change, every event, every situation in life requires some belief in our part. Remember faith without works is dead. So whether or not you see the change in your life, you have to believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that it shall happen. When left with nothing to say, in those moments of dispair don't let the situation control the outcome of the moment. Take a moment to shut down and just listen and pray. It is only then that peace will come to us, because we continue to believe despite what we see.

From my heart.

So far, yet so close.

Regardless of what goals we have, we all come across moments where we seem so far yet so close to them. Recently, I posted a status on my facebook about how it is when I am the closest to my goals that I feel the farthest. For some time now I have been aiming to become a healthier eater and shed off some pounds, to be honest. I need to be able to lose some weight and so far I know that I have been able to shed some of it off but I feel as if, regardless of what I do, no change is seen. What a struggle we have many times in life, everything seems to require some amount of faith in order for us to believe it. I stand at a cross roads and I need to tell myself, you must continue. You mustn't let your eyes deceive you because it is when we feel like we can't that we actually really can. It is in my weakness that GOD's strength can be manifested.

I may not always know my strength and I may sometimes look at my situation and say I will never see change but I need to remain positive. I won't be able to see the fruits of my efforts unless I persevere. Without perseverance we will lose out on seeing the results of all our efforts. Never, ever give up. Regardless of what negative thought may come into your mind, you must stand against it in God's name and claim your goal. It is not enough to write it down, we must also act upon it. People didn't make headlines by just dreaming, no one is able to read your mind. WE must act upon our dreams and goals and persevere so that others may see with their own eyes.

Today, I want to claim victory in our lives. May we stand strong against negativity. Let us not allow discouragement to take over our dreams. Whatever time it may take, whatever cost it will have, let us be willing to persevere and overcome the obstacles that we may see. Let not our eyes deviate us but let our hearts guide us. I know that it is our time to do what we need to do. Stand strong against adversity and stand your ground. I know that I will see the results and that regardless of what may come my way I will stick to my goals.

We'll make it happen. =)

It all started...

Yesterday in church, during worship the girls sang the song "If not for your grace" by New Breed. This amazing gift that was given to us called grace, that we are so unworthy of, started this sequence of events almost as if the Lord was paving the way for today. We are not always aware of what our life is being called for, we try for so long to figure out and sort things out in life. All I can think about yesterday was the grace of God and how it is enough. How, yes in the midst of whatever we face, we will be emotionally hurt, angry, frustrated, perhaps even confused but at the end of it all it is HIS GRACE that sustains us through it all. Can I just say the LOVE of GOD never fails to amaze me.

So today I walk in the office, and I can see how the LORD had the agenda pretty much prepared for me. I sit down and work besides one of my interns, whom for sometime now I have been praying for. These are girls that have gone through some things in life, and because of such have failed to see the true value of their life. Because of this they have taken some wrong turns in life, and struggle to keep their heads up high and they fail to see the LOVE that has been given to them, the amazing job that GOD has done to create each and one of us. Something led me to talk to her, and I won't get into details about our conversation but all I can say is that my heart was opened to an entire new world out there. I was never completely unaware of the needs of others, but it is when we have gone through our bits of hardships that we can truly become aware of the struggles of those around us. The one thing that I kept noticing is how low this young lady's self esteem was. I prayed for discernment as I spoke with her, and all I saw was the pain in her eyes. I was able to encourage her with some words, and intend to keep her in my prayers.

Not too long after, right in front of our office there were some teenagers (gangs) that were causing some chaos in the street. I looked out the window and was taken by surprise at the violence that was being displayed before my eyes. OK, so yes I have been exposed through the media about gangs and violence but never in my life had I seen this in front of my own eyes. I was in shock, a bit dramatic you may think, but it was just I was painfully shocked to see how these kids, almost babies were treating each other. Let's not go too far, it quickly reminded me of how much we hurt each other. We are so quick to take a stab at our brother's back, to push him down. How painful is that. Imagine I was not the parents of these children and it broke my heart how they had so much hatred and violence in their faces. How can we live in a world with so much hate and violence? Young kids, barely men and already being introduced into this world as savages. Not knowing that there is so much more to this life. My questions right away came, my mind was bombarded with the why's, how's, who's... all these questions on what has led these children to behave with such evil.

I know that this world is so corrupt, but can my light still shine in the midst of this darkness? My personal belief is well sure, without a doubt. Next question to myself is, How can I make that light shine? How can I help another see the transforming power of GOD, the ability to change our own course of life for the better. How can you break those chains from the past? I have no doubt in my mind and heart that we are able to overcome these times of evil. Matthew 5:13-16:You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? ... You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hid... Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. We fail to see what GOD can do through us, we give up on our own selves. We lose hope in what we are able to do, and it is when we start failing to see the amazing job that GOD as he created us that we become available to the evil in this world.

You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s own people, that you may declare the wonderful deeds of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. Once you were no people but now you are God’s people; once you had not received God’s mercy but now you have received mercy. (1 Peter 2:9-10) Don't ever fail to see who YOU are. Perhaps there is not much you can do right now to save the entire world, but hey look at the bright side, it was taken cared of by the big man JESUS. All we are called to do is believe in who we are, the value, the price that was placed for our lives. They talk about what are the things we value the most and all I can think of is, how simply beautiful GOD created me. Well aren't we a little boastful Gaby you may say, but NO that is not my intention. I only intend to acknowledge the wonderful job that GOD did with me. Listen, if you see a painting that is a masterpiece do you not admire it and give it it's praise? We are the creation of GOD, we ought to praise the creator for simply doing a fine job with us. Not to say we are perfect, but we are beautiful. Any imperfections that you may be aware of, are simply a sign of maturity and an opportunity for you to fix it. Our sins, flaws, imperfections are not revealed to destroy us, but to restore us.

Bunch of things

I guess the title of my blog will make sense as you read the content of it. Last week, Friday, I have to say that I broke down. Why, you may ask? Here is the thing, so much has happened in this year, and as 2010 is ending I am realizing how much has truly occurred. OK, so I got a little off, that is not what I wanted to say. Back to Friday night, I was so stressed over this disgusting flu that was not leaving me. *cough cough.. yes I still am not completely well but I feel my body adjusting so much better. I had missed almost 4 days of work, and as incredibly exciting as that sounds, I was frustrated because I was unable to get anything done. I was worried about finishing up sorting the things in my apartment (from the move) and was so concerned about the homework, finals and papers that needed to be completed for school. I allowed myself to become overwhelmed with doubt and disappointment. Funny thing is one of the classes I was studying for was regarding our "coping" mechanisms and how sometimes we catastrophize the situation more than what we should. I tell you, thankfully my friend knocked some sense into me and I was able to regain my control and speak sternly to myself.

This leads to my next thought, I know that we encounter so much in our life. This past year as I mentioned briefly above, has not only brought me laughter but many tears along the way. I guess part of life is being able to go through all those moments and not ever lose hope that at the end all is for the purpose that has been destine from us from our divine father. Between trying to stay hopeful about our love lives, obtaining those good grades at school, keeping a good professional standing at work and trying to rebuild our relationship with GOD, we can say we become overwhelmed sometimes. In the path I have had to remind myself that if it wasn't for GOD I wouldn't make it, so I best make sure I involved HIM all the way down the path I have in front of me.

School continues to be a great priority in my life, and I have seen how much it has really benefited me. I am at 90 credits and I have never felt such an excitement about accomplishing a goal as I am starting to feel. I know that I am not done yet, but I sure do have my eyes set on the prize that lies ahead for me. I am seeking the LORD for guidance as far as my career goes, and honestly I am feeling the vision clear up. I still believe that there are some plans unknown to me, that truly I am excited to not know of. I only pray that I can continue to envision the bigger picture and keep myself focused. I am thankful for the relationships that have become stronger in my life and pray for those that have weakened. I continue to work on the areas in my life that need work but am thankful of what I have been able to accomplish. This came to my mind 2 days ago: "face your fears in order to defeat it". There is no way on earth that we will be able to accomplish or overcome those areas in our life that we struggle unless we face them. Don't be afraid of doing and aiming for the high goals. I continue to aim to become a certain size by next year, and little by little I will get there. So far, I have lost almost 25lbs. I know that I have so much to go, but I have learned that persistency is the key. Don't give up, look at the "fear" in the face and move forward. It is never too late, as long as you are willing.