How to incentivize staff with no money?

I was a front desk receptionist for a social service office in Westchester working on my undergrad as a public administrator when I asked myself this question for the first time. How do you incentivize staff with no money? I remember hearing for the first time that managers weren't allowed to give staff gifts valued higher than $25 and well salaries weren't that high. That night I went home and as usual went to bed thinking how can a manager then really appreciate the work of their employees when they are limited. Remember, I was only 21 at the time so this was all new to me. I was still learning so much about management. This was probably my first journey into management. I just never imagined 12 years later I would be answering my own question. Fast forward to my today. I am leading a team of professionals that are doing some amazing work along my side. As you may already know, non-profit work and that which works with trauma and direct services can be stressful. So how do I incentivize and motivate my staff to stay motivated, flexible and committed to their task and team? Here are my three favorite tips: Relationship: Many managers are very afraid of becoming personally involved with their staff. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying to build a out of work - buddy buddy relationship with your staff. What I am referring to is, let's be relational. Interact with your staff and lead with honesty. Let your staff know that you understand them, support them and will be there to guide them. Build that trust that will have them following you and respecting your decisions. Learn their names, give them a space to feel comfortable to be honest with you and know when to be professional and off the record. Appreciate: One of the practices I have is always thank my staff for what they do. I remind them, what they do is for the population we serve, the team they are part of and their professional skills that they will continue to sharpen. One of my childhood lessons that my mother made sure I practiced everywhere I went was manners. I remember the kitchen staff at my school telling my mother, "your daughter never fails to thank me" you'd be surprised what that can do to people working hard after a long day. So thank you after a long day of your teams day. Let them know you appreciate their dedication. Listen to them: It is hard for your employees to communicate to them their needs. Many times staff is afraid of approaching you to discuss how they are feeling in the job, how they are managing their task or how they are feeling that day. If you practice the steps above you will get them to listen to you. Everybody wants to be heard. You want your team to be able to give you feedback. How else will I grow as a leader? There is no better way to give someone value for their work and skills then to listen to their feedback. Not only will their ideas potentially improve a process but it will ultimately build confidence in your team to be independent thinkers and push themselves to improvement. At the end - a nice lunch on the boss won't hurt!

Millennial Confessions!

I think that most of us can agree that trying new things, taking risk, is always scary. I know, I know -- we all hear the many inspirational stories of the men and women that accomplished by taking chances, by never giving up. This got me thinking, when I am planning my next move, when I am ready to move forward, what holds be back the most? Granted, I have to say, I have, over time, learned how to better train myself to push past the opposition. What holds me back, temporarily and pushed me to hide behind the shadows of others, is, what if I fail? Something my pastor said last night has been resonating all day. When you fail so many times, it's really not so bad. HA! He is a comedian. So true though, you learn to get back up. Not sure if you can relate with my story, my greatest struggle has been that initial risk. That first jump. There is so much said about young cats my age (yes I said young.) I have read articles, emails, statuses, tweets... you name it. Millennials are this, millennials are that. So I ask my fellow millennials, what are some of your own thoughts? I can tell you about this (me) millennial. I seek purpose and intention in what I do, as a professional. Do I know it all? Do I encounter moments where the two don't always match, indeed. Today I sit and ask myself, what is it that I want to do in life? I want to help people? But how? I have to first identify my skills, and flaws. It's okay, weaknesses are okay and just an FYI friends, it's okay to not be perfect at everything. Going back, so yes, weaknesses and strengths. Identify them in your life. Don't beat yourself up, believe me there is always someone that appears to be smarter than me, they are like my heroes. Did you identify these? Now, let's go back for a second, look at these flaws, what can you do to improve them? Listen, I admit, I am not the best at writing and my grammar, let's just say, not always the best. Does that stop me? Yes, sometimes. Forever? No! I take it with a grain of salt. If you are like, you are probably your worst critic, or best. You got that, now let's continue to identify these and just work on them. It may take some time, I feel your pain or anxiety. Ha! But don't give up. Let me share something, if I have grown in my professional, spiritual, emotional and physical health it has to be because of the people I surround myself with. I am not afraid to be told, you did it wrong, doesn't mean you want someone who will always put you down, but someone who can be honest with you. So, even if it hurts, have mentors by your side that will coach you. Shoutout to my mentor(s) - they are the best! Take it one day at a time. Make mistakes, it's okay. Learn from these mistakes though. Work on your confidence and as I learned last night, this confidence should not be rooted in your success, I mean it's nice and all, but it shouldn't. It should be rooted in love. Knowing that at the end of the day, who you are, is not just about what you do, but what you have within you. Your character and ability to withstand opposition in life. Have a little faith. All will be well. Sincerely a millennial,

Tough to admit.

I admit, it's tough for me to, well admit, when I am not feeling my best. I appreciate my journals, and blogs for that matter. When I can't seem to pin-point what is it that is roaming my mind, I must write. I write, and write. Sometimes, that writing does not use ink, it stays in my thoughts. Today, I decided, let's type. I feel my emotions getting the best of me, and while I struggle to compose myself, sometimes it doesn't feel that easy. It is so much easier sometimes, to move forward, and then you have the bad days. Those days where nothing makes sense, and you have to be okay with this. Days when life takes a toll, and although you know that everything will be okay, your mind plays tricks with you, not reassuring you of this. I have no choice but let it out, I allow for that emotion to come to life, and then I have to crush it. Not so gently because, now, this emotion is causing a bit of anxiety. The ground shakes, your nails get shorter, your nights get longer, and mornings get heavier. What is it about life that can have you in a turmoil, and almost feeling as if, you want to run, just run. Run, perhaps near a beach, where the air is fresh, where the grass is green, where the water flows freely. Absorbs that energy, but you know what, you know it's part of life. One must withstand, and move forward. Be committed to life, even when, living doesn't seem that gentle. Commit to loving thyself, sooooo-much, that no matter what, we will always care and love.

Because gratitude is the expression of Love....

I started writing a status on my facebook and soon realized, this may be a little too long, let me write a blog better. Today in the place we like to temporary call home, earth, there is a celebration of "love" ... or better knows as Valentines Day! So many single folk dread this day, and honestly I can see why. Don't feel bad for single people, while I will embrace love, in all it's forms, I don't lament being single. It really hasn't been that bad (for me) -- it has truly given me a chance to learn so much about me, the people around me, my faith, and last but not least, God's love for me! Yep, my faith is a big part of my life, and it has taught me some valuable lessons. I do have to admit, in the past, I lacked "love" in my life, I had bitterness, and was not living a life in abundance, as I was called to. I hated everyone and everything, (but hid it very well.) I smiled, and (at times) even hugged folks, but deep inside I was full of pain, and hatred. I can't say that my hatred was justifiable, but I had seen some things in life that had washed away the meaning of love, (no I wasn't broken hearted by men) it was just, life happened. So to say that I lived in bitterness, may be actually conservative. Today a few years, after undergoing some spiritual surgery and cleansing, I can say that love reigns in my heart. I have experienced the wonderful, unconditional love from my parents, the not so perfect, I don't agree with them all the time love, but YES unconditional love. I have learned so much to appreciate them for what they have taught me, for loving me till the end, for never giving up on our relationship, Thank you mom and dad for this! I want to thank my brothers who challenge me everyday, keep me on my toes, and in their individual ways always seem to capture my heart, they will always be my favorite men (don't tell this to my future-boo). To my friends/family best-friends, partners in crime, soul-chika-mates, long-life friends, you have never left my side, even when we disagreed and argued, our relationships have always challenged us to love past all those things, love beyond unimaginable measures, love past ways I never even thought I was capable of loving, love is seriously like a rubber-band, it keep stretching. Thank you April, thank you Yoely for being my best-friends for life. I always had a hard time "labeling" relationships, because of my own insecurities, but I can gracefully say you ladies have loved me unconditionally and I am so deeply grateful for this. My DCS, junior high school friends, that boy oh boy did we share so many good moments, Diana, Kary, Aimee -- Diana and Kary thank you for opening your hearts to me, I remember our "friendship letters" we would write to each other, and the many fun, unforgettable moments we shared in school. My cousins that have stood by my side, even when we don't get to talk as much. You were my first best friends teaching me what a "bra" looked like, teaching me what "liking" boys was all about, what would I have done without you? I have to give a shout-out to Sara, you once taught me a valuable lesson about being a "lady" - as you knew being raised with boys, I was kinda of a tom-boy, but one day you told me "Gaby you need to let boys be nice to you", it took me some time Sara, but I think I got what you meant that day. To all my other friends, that have become such a unique treasure in my life that I would never trade for nothing in the world, you ladies, Diana, Jeanine, Crystal, Kimmie, Christina, Ruthy, Nai,Mickie, Denise, Karyn, Matos, - gosh so many ... I have been so blessed with an extended family and you have truly become that in my life. There are so many people I would want to name, and the order of the names really has no meaning. Each and every one of you has impacted me, and walked with me, made sure I don't space out, or continue to teach me so much in life. I know that I can count on you at all times. There have been leaders in my life that have shown me so many characteristics to make me a better person, guided me through my career-choices, through my heart-aches with life, my faith-walk -- I wouldn't be half the leader I am today had it not been for people that invested in me, so for all of this I want to thank you, my childhood pastor, Rev. Jose River (RIP), Robert Reyes, Ralphy, Aida... my teachers that loved me and pushed me - and now the leaders God has blessed me and surround me with love, grace and leadership, Gabriel and Jeanette, along with some loving leaders at The Lambs Church (a place I like to call home, "where life is met with love") that invest in me everyday and teach me something new, thank you!!! I have to recognize my niece and nephews that have brought so much joy and love in my life. If one ever has hesitation of their capabilities of loving, they are destroyed the moments these little people are born. I have experienced a whole new level of love in my life. They make my world spin, and my heart overflow!! I love you little ones, your life is a gift to me. Last but not least, I have to mention the love-of-my-soul, my Jireh, my Nissi, "the Father, Son and Holy Spirit" for loving me and walking through life with me. Enjoy this Valentines Day, my friends, whether you are single, married, unmarried on this day of celebration or any day for that matter, love will always conquer and WIN!!! I love you all!!!

Barefoot.

"What is wrong with my bare feet? I like walking barefooted." A Guatemalan, indigenous woman asked "Why do we need to wear shoes, why is it that when people visit us they want to put shoes on our feet? Is there something wrong with me not having shoes, I like to walk barefooted." As this woman walked in her bare feet, she seemed at peace, she seemed happy, shoes didn't make her happy. She couldn't understand why other people aren't happy that she doesn't wear their shoes. It's so easy for me walk in my own shoes, and see life only my own way. Do I ever bother to put on the shoes of others? As I was ready to call it a night, and after I published this blog, in bed I wondered about what I had written,in tears I decided, I must add to this. All I can think about is the images of the many people I met, the stories I heard. So many times, we think we know what others have gone through and we really don't know. We don't even bother to ask or care because our society has taught us not to care, or simply have no time to care. During this trip, I was intentional of not assuming to know what the people of Guatemala go through. I purposely tossed any idea I had of Guatemalans, and made it a point to listen to them and try to walk in their shoes. I don't think I can survive a day in their shoes, but I attempted to. Even the few days I spent with them, I barely slipped on the shoe, and I can feel the pain burdening my heart. I am asleep in bed, not a perfect life, but not worrying about my lands being seized by large cane sugar companies or mining companies wanting to build mines where I plant my next meal. I can only reflect on the many miles they had to walk, literally and metaphorically. Can I even walk barefooted, endure the pain of this path? While listening to klove, Scott, spoke about Syria, and the tragedies this country is facing. We pray for this country, pray for peace, and protection. I won't attempt to discuss or debate on what has been going on because honestly I don't know enough. However, one thing Scott did point out was the story of Jesus, how Jesus became man to walk in our feet, Jesus didn't bring us his own shoes, and imposed them on us, he simply, came to this world as man but GOD and set the example. If only we committed our lives to walk in the shoes of others, understand their pains, and journey with them, I wonder how different this world would be. May her story inspire me to understand to respect the path that others have walked, never undermine their story, because we all have our own stories, and love on people. Respect People. Fight for Justice.

Simple things (post Guatemala trip)

I recently returned from my mission trip to Guatemala. I have to elaborate so much more on the details of my trip, however, I arrived a week ago and I am still internalizing my entire experience. In the meantime I keep writing the traditional "journaling" way. I did want to talk about "simple things" in life. One of my greatest internal conflicts has been this fight about what I have seen over the last 31 years of my life versus what I experienced in 3 weeks. What I thought to be valuable is not even in the radar of so many people I met. We are consumed by the latest fashion, the biggest house, the highest payed salary, etc, you get the point? Nothing wrong with being ambitious and wanting more in life, or is there? I walked through these very simple towns in Guatemala, in the Quiche region, one of the areas most affected by the internal conflicts of guerilla and military. In an area where so many people were massacred, I couldn't help but to think about their lives, their stories. I saw these stores called "pacas" that sold, all this "american" fashion, oh how they long to be like us. All I can really do is yell within me, and say no! Don't get me wrong, not because I don't love my country (US) but because we have it all twisted. We get in debt to stay in fashion, to have the latest car, even the best education. To them, we are the greatest. I couldn't help but to stare out at the lands they had. The beautiful flowers, the green mountains, the running rivers, the small street vendors, the older person smiling saying "buenos dias" to me. The beauty in these things, oh the beauty. The simple walk in town, where the little old lady on the corner is trying to sell me fresh fruit, chopped and ready to eat. The simple walk in town, where all of a sudden we are stuck in traffic because there is music coming from the streets, school bands playing in a parade, all these kids, singing and dancing. All I can do is cry, yes, cry because it's these simple things that fill my heart. In a town where so much pain was endured, they still found joy in the little things. That night the group of ladies that were traveling with me were ready for bed, I felt the bed I would sleep in and with so much excitement yelled, oh yes a nice and comfy bed, with a "fluffy" pillow, tonight I will sleep like a baby. I was wrong, I didn't sleep. At 2:00AM I heard firecrackers and folks serenading with "marimbas" a traditional Guatemalan music. I laughed, I said, there goes my sleep. They partied all right, partied so much I didn't sleep that night, lol. All these small stories makes me rethink about what I appreciate in life, I won't lie I certainly appreciated silence at night hahaha. No but really, I was inspired to value more in life, not because of what these families didn't have,because in many cases most of them have never probably seen all the things we fill our apartments with, that in reality put very little use to. They valued other things in life, they value the water from the rivers, the lands that brings them food, the air that fills their lungs. These simple but important things, that we take for granted. These mayan speaking families, protect these lands with their lives, and have lost their lives because it's all they know.

I ask myself, what are the things in life that really matter and I dare ask you, what are some things in your life, that really matter?

Resiliency: pursuing your own dreams.

Things are stirring within me. I think some of you will relate to how I am feeling. If you are an independent person, born sometime within this century, I know you will understand where I am coming from. I have to be very honest with you, I don't do well sharing all my emotions hmm, pretty much all the time. I can articulate other topics but my emotions, boy oh boy is that tough. I can see my friends read this and nod firmly in approval. I have chosen to write about this today, because although, this is not a common blog post for even me, I have felt the need to embrace every stage in my life as I am learning an intentional dependency on God. Now to my non-church folk, I am so sorry this will probably make even less sense to you.

Dependency, what is that? I know, so hard for us these days to know the balance. A child of immigrant parents, becoming independent is probably a prerequisite for us. My parents traveled from Guatemala, and all I can remember is them working hard, hard work all the time, everyday, no excuses. Never did my parents give up. Resiliency should have a picture of my parents in the dictionary because honestly that's all I can think of when I see that. So I sit here thinking, what was my parents dreams? What drove them to be so resilient and endure hardships in their life? How come they were able to cross the border, that's right they did that. Overcome language barriers and some stereotypes of who they were and what they came to do to this country. Learned, a new culture, a new language, left their families in Guatemala and all of this for what? My parents were resilient. I think about my life, my own struggles and what I have done to reach my goals. I have to say, I fall so short to their resilience. I think about my own dreams, and the many times I feel like giving up, and say, where is my resilience? Not saying I haven't endured my own challenges in life, however, all I can sit right now, and say to myself is Gaby where is your dream, and are you resilient? It's easy to push others to their dreams, but what stops us from pushing our own?

Recently my dreams have been pretty out of the ordinary. I will be the first to admit to this. I guess, it really doesn't make any sense, at least to the measure of my standards of "common sense" - I can't help but to meditate on the words that were shared with us by my pastor on Sunday. What forms my thinking? Why am I so challenged to not embrace this dream, I am dreaming. My heart is beating fast and it's a love that doesn't make sense in my mind, but my heart and soul are at peace, as I think about this dream. It is these things that go agains our human nature, and I challenge myself because I ask, how can I be possibly think that this will work? By this I mean "dream" - I know right now this all may sound like crazy talk, you see what I mean? I am learning though, I don't have it mastered yet, but I am sure learning. Even if it seems crazy, push your dreams, don't let anything get in the way, especially not yourself, and your powerful logic. I know that all my logical thinkers can appreciate this. What your mind cannot see, let your heart embrace.

Ministry and Faith

My heart grows weary at times because my humanity interferes with what my heart is longing for. It is so hard to explain in word, especially I am too busy trying to think out every word I write. However, I will try to write freely now. It has been almost 8 months since I left a full time job with full benefits. I look back and think, I must have been crazy. Don't get me wrong this doesn't take away from the fact that I am very happy with the experience and things I have learned these past few months. I am learning a complete dependency on GOD, while still struggling to drown the "me" voice that is naturally planning the next move. Just today I walked and reflected on the struggle within my soul. That heart breaking struggle between letting go, or just simply moving on. My trust is on God, and I want to take this opportunity to remind myself on how faithful God has been. I have seen him provide for me time, after time. I am so humbled by this. Living in this unknown but trusting is a great feeling, unless your human tendency to control starts speaking louder. It is then that my life gets a little scary. Balancing my ministry life, and unwrapping what this even means to me, is scary. Exciting to now know what is inside the gift wrap, but nervous because what if you make not like it. One of the toughest areas for me has to be balancing between both. Or should I balance? Listening to my heart when in speaks, and knowing that I am not alone in this. I know that although it is rare, it has been done. People do find it important to live their lives teaching others, and inspiring others for change. I can't doubt what has been given to me, my confidence should always be kept high and when it isn't I should pray, and pray. I have no choice at times but to write, then pray. I forget how easily I can get wrapped up in life, even when I am not working a traditional job, and then I am screwed. I am screwed because my heart feels the weight of the fear, I simply must trust. Continue to believe despite my flesh telling me otherwise, believe despite the fear, believe despite the unclarity of it all. I choose to believe, and find my refuge in the confidence I have built through God. This has all been a learning process, and so many people surrender so much to live their dream, this is my dream. This is what I love. Help me God, balance all.

Connecting....

Tuesday January 8, 2013. Yesterday was an interesting day. As I sat in the couch writing before I left, I realized my life will not fall on my laps. I must go out and search and work, so that the purpose intended for my life is kept moving. I went into the community in the Lower East Side with a friend from church and was able to give some clothes to a deaf community in my area. The need of the people around me, is sometimes more real than we ever notice. I know that in my heart I just wished I can do everything to change the world, but it must start with one act of kindness. Connecting with the community where my church is was and is very important for me so that I can understand the need of those around me. Today, I continued to ponder on the great things that I am in faith believing for myself. I know that so many of these decisions in life are not ones that come to us easily but I have found peace in the many things I am believing for myself. I know that I am limited with how much I know of the future but I assure myself that if I continue to trust, believe and hope it will all be okay. I am committed to serving and making a difference little by little, one by one. Good night,

The beginning - appreciating the simple things in life today.

So many will say their resolutions for this year, meanwhile all I can do is think about the things that I have already let go of since last year. I want to invite you to journey with me as I embark a new time in my life. I won't spoil the story by telling you all the detail up front, but it's a story of how everyday I will commit to the happiness in daily living. I have been blogging for some time, but never really had a purpose for writing. I simply wanted to jot down my thoughts. In my longing to become a writer, of some sort, I decided to put some of my ideas on this blog. Today I find myself letting go of all I had known life to be, and risking my stability to find what I love in life the most. The funny thing of it all is that my decision didn't start this year, this has been a ripple effect of acts of surrender and obedience since last year. At the age of 30, I had decided to continue to live my life, but with purpose, with intent. Let me tell you, it is much easier said than done. To commit to finding what life is meant for, yet I searched in the wrong places. I had it all figured out, or so I assumed. I finally had graduated from college, after 10 years. I had a financially stable job, with great benefits, so what would in heavens earth push me to let it go? So many will ask, not many know. I want to share with the world, my story, as I journey through my path of purpose. During my journey I know that so much of my past will surface because I am continuously inspired by those around me, and my past experiences. Monday January 7th, 2013 - Today I will take some time to go to church and set some things up, while I also take some time to appreciate the simple things in life. I have committed to every day living it at peace, and with purpose. I am excited to be able to reconnect with some friends these past few days, friends that I hadn't seen in a long while. I am reminded through their friendship and love, what life is about. Let's make it count, make today count. I will be back later to write about how my day went. Talk to you later.

Singlehood: am I fixable?

Singlehood: Am I fixable? Wait, wait, and before you go off on a rampage about "what do you mean am I fixable" hear me out for a few seconds. On my walk to the bus this morning I couldn't help but to think of the many things in my life that I am improving or fixing. Nothing wrong with fixing, I mean life is simply about growing and learning through our mistakes. As I pondered on the different areas of my life, and the many times I have tried to find solutions with steps on how to improve, I couldn't help but to think on the different things I desire for my life at the age of thirty. Not to sound cliché about things, but yes turning 30 was pivotal because the number simply reminded me that I had been on this earth for 30 years, and what have I learned. No, I didn't cry my eyes our or walked around depressed for months dreading the big 30, I was actually excited because I had only good expectations of my coming years. So many lessons that have been learned and opportunities have been presented, but all have been approached with a learning attitude. Haven't we all made mistakes, indeed, but it's not about the mistakes we have made but the lessons we have learned. Some of us will live our lives making mistakes, because we are not perfect, but only some (very few) will choose to learn from these. Learning takes humility, really removing the pride and stubbornness that leads us to believe that we are always right. Hey nothing wrong with a little confidence but when it gets in the way of growing, we should be very concerned. If I wrote all my lessons learned in my life, I would be writing a book... (not a bad idea) because man have I learned a thing here and there about life. I am constantly fascinated with the idea of growth, but challenged with concept of change. Security for me has been my refuge, yet, because of my (loosely throwing this out here) Type A personality at times, it can also get in the way of my ability to settle into wavering challenges. I try with great effort to learn the art of “delayed gratification” so that my present decisions and present struggles are not my life’s monster. Society and culture has a way of imposing limitations and expectations that are not considerate at all of God’s plan for our lives. I have heard so many single ladies like myself that find themselves questioning their purpose because they are simply not in a relationship. Now, don’t get me wrong it is ok to be reflective and take a moment to ponder about one’s life and decisions but no need to be limited to what this world expects from us. So, do I need fixing?... being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus Philippians 1:6. We should seek constant growth, but because you are single doesn’t make you damaged goods. I have seen plenty relationships that are not the healthiest functioning ones, so in the meantime, while GOD is preparing and teaching us in this path; let us not put ourselves down. On the contrary let’s take each moment we face, and learn from it. Take the time to appreciate where you are and go where life wants to take you. Allow for your life to take the course intended for it. Live freely! Be confident that your love and peace comes from above. As I continue to endure this path of singlehood, I continue to find myself more and more appreciative of life and with a greater understanding of what I should value.

Prince of Peace

A person dear to me shared this piece of her life today with a few of her close friends. I couldn't help but to think of the many times we have all faced a loss or pain in our lives. It is because of our faith in GOD and HIS amazing love that so many of us today can really say "ebenezzer" - without a doubt, life will throw us stones, rocks and even boulders but HIS strength see's us through the storm. I encourage you all to not feel alone but confide in your PRINCE of PEACE. With love, I was 10 years old and my parents just announced their divorce to us. It felt like my world just came to a halt. All of my security was pulled out from under me and it felt my world was shattered.My aunt attended a church and pretty soon I tagged along with her to escape from the madness that was my home. It was there that as a little girl I was introduced to Christ .He became my security and what I clung to for hope. He has kept me ever since. He rescued me , kept me from what my life was suppose to be. There have been many more since then. Is there a time you remember God kept you? He was, is and always will be there. I celebrate the peace that brings today. Blessings ladies. This song spoke my heart this morning http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=day2zcDC2bI&feature=youtube_gdata_player

I refuse to identify myself with sin because I realize that I have been redeemed in Christ. It doesn't negate that we will live in constant battle between right and wrong, but I rely and know that HIS LOVE will find a way for me to do right BEFORE HIM. I pray that I never become a self sufficient individual whom fails to remember how alike I am with everyone else. We are called to teach, walk, talk, love, share JESUS so let us do that.

Here I am...

There is so much excitement within me, webster cannot even provide me with words necessary to express myself. I am finally a college graduate and here I am pondering on the great achievements I have obtained. I will admit, I needed to remind myself to cease the moment. I am already too busy, planning my next step without savoring this one. That is a big no-no. I thank GOD for friends that have celebrated with me, and keep me grounded during these times in my life. As I continue to reflect on what led me to graduate or what pushed me to continue, I try to reminisce on what gave me the strength to move on. There were many times within my 12 years journey, that I wanted to give up. I spent these last 2 years, working super hard to earn good grades, to study hard, and learn as much as possible. The growth in my life within these past years, are indescribable. I am not saying I am all done growing but I know that I can say I have learned so much. I also take a look at my parents and how overjoyed they are, I know that they are super proud of my accomplishments, and I know I can never repay them for their sacrifice, coming to this country to give their family a new opportunity. I can see in their eyes the joy, and I am glad today that I can make them proud. So many of us can take for granted the opportunities that exist for us. I am learning to not take life for granted. I don't know what it is, actually I do, there is this joy in my life, that surpasses any disappointments and pains I may have endured in my past. It is my mission to continue to move forward with the task the God has appointed for me. This entire year, thus far, I have received confirmation after confirmation, reassuring me that God has me at the place I need to be. Just yesterday, I met with a group of dreamers that are fighting for their dreams. I can relate simply because I know the struggle and determination it takes. In speaking to them my heart was filled with compassion and enthusiasm as I embark this journey with them. I know that this is the perfect timing. I have been prepared to be where I am. All I can remember is a dream/vision I had several years ago, where in that dream I led many young kids. Never in my wildest dream did I imagine what it meant, and I limited it to what I knew then. Silly me, God's plans were far greater than mine. These dreams I am fighting for, these kids I am going to help, are only a small chunk of HIS plan for my life. I have learned to surrender, little by little. To have faith in this walk, to know that at the end I am simply here to complete my mission. I am here to be of example to the world, and be accountable for each other. I am finding it surprisingly difficult to put words to my emotions right now. I won't lie, there is an inch of my human flesh that is tempted to fear the good that is here but I surrender those emotions. Let this continue to be a lesson to me and you, our plans are no where near God's plans. I am so enamored with the life that I have been given, and despite not always getting what I want, I know for a fact that HE makes sure I will get what I need. It is simple, we must trust and keep moving. Believe me, trusting will be much more difficult some days, but that doesn't mean we won't make it through the day. Humbled by HIS LOVE,

You're so vain..

Sometimes we are so busy looking too far into the future that we forget the present moment. That is one of the problems I faced when starting my diets or better said healthy lifestyle changes. We have to learn to live in the moment, and it is taking note of the present moment that will enable us to embrace the future. Discouragement has knocked at my door, but one thing I am learning to do is fall in love with the person that GOD has created within me. We fail to take note of the who we are and the beauty within us. There has been a very controversial article all over the media about a women writer that has been accused of being vain for writing about the "repercussions" of being a beautiful woman. This morning on the the TODAY show she spoke about how her intent was not to make others see her as this vain person, it was simply to make a statement. However, never did she imagine recieving so much criticism for her article.

It had me thinking..once again about how focused we are on the perception of beauty through the eyes of others. We fail to see beauty through the most important figure in our lives, which is GOD's. I am able to understand everyday more and more the true value of my life because I have come to a complete understanding of the love the GOD has for me. I don't only feel "special" but honored. Honestly, feeling honored is many times more important than simply feeling "special". There is a sense of respect to honor, and if we love and honor the person that we have been created to be then we will truly respect our bodies as GOD has intended for us to do so.

I no longer question the value of my life, because i know that I am loved. I have also been blessed by seeing this love materialize through the lives the of the amazing people I have been surrounded with. This love has not made me vain about my beauty but humble because I was honored by HIS life.

Thank you Jesus for you unconditional love, and for teaching me to love myself first, so then I can love others!

Finding inspiration in my thirties...

Who said turning 30 would be a bummer? Lies, it was all lies. I have experienced nothing but excitement as I embrace this new era of my life. I can freely say that obtaining my degree after what seemed like an eternity was one of my greatest accomplishments at this age. I received my new era in Florida surrounded by warm weather and the beach. I felt so close to nature. It reminded me of what are the things that inspire me. I must confess despite classifying myself as a very logical thinker, I obtain much of my motivation through inspiration, which means there is a very emotional side to me.

I need to focus on what inspires me right now to continue to pursue my goals: travel, weight loss, active participation in helping immigrants, my career, my education... my own family?

Things I need to focus on:

1. My faith - loving GOD above all things!
2. Self-Control
3. Nature
4. Family
5. Friends
6. Loving me
7. Letting go

Finding hope in a hopeless place..

Happy New Years 2012!

I can't believe how fast time has flown, we are now in 2012 ... it seems as if just yesterday I was 19, but we know that is not true. :) Yesterday a friend of mine asked me about my blogging and the fact that I hadn't blogged recently. She was right, I have had so much on my mind but hadn't had the chance to write because of all my school work, aren't I glad that I did today though. My last semester towards my bachelors approaches, in approximately one week I will be done with my semester culminating my bachelors degree, Aleluya! It is a dream come true. It is my reality. For so long I battled about completing this degree, for whatever "non-justifiable" reason I found, in other words making excuses. Truth is, we all encounter times in our lives where we have these dreams, these future goals and plans that seem so far away to us. So far at a distance, that we are to afraid to believe in them because, they are barely visible. It is almost as if these dreams will never happen, and then boom, next thing you know it your dream has become a reality. Now, I ask myself, how exactly did this transition from dream to reality occur for me?

For so long I doubted my ability to achieve this goal. I have to admit at some point I didn't even want it anymore, only because I figured I was better not having it. But in the pit of my being, there was a small, very small chunk, that I was unaware of, that still believed in me and wanted it. I had my fair share of bloopers in my life as we all do, but they are simply lessons learned. I faced some hardships and so many changes in my life that simply made it easy for me to say, "this is too tough, I must quit". I am so glad that I didn't. I thought to myself, I am better off not wanting more for now because I will not manage it. I was wrong and right at the same time. I tell you why, although that time in my life didn't necessarily feel equipped to do it, it was really up to me to make that effort to want it enough to commit to the responsibility.

Looking back, today, I realize these past two years have not been any easier but what was different? Believe me, I had plenty of "good" reasons to say, perhaps this is not my time, or I must simply leave it for later but, I didn't. I was determined to continue. Today as I examine my life, I realize that my efforts were not ineffective they paid off. My emotions weren't always in my favor, staying focused was so difficult and I found myself contemplating complacency in my life, but I stayed determined, I didn't give up.

There is a song from Rihanna that has been flooding the radio, I have to admit I am kind of hooked on it. The title of the song is "We Found Love in a Hopeless Place", what does this have to do with what I was saying earlier, you ask. See, here is the thing. I find that sometimes , this is the truth in our own world we are hopeless because of the troubles we face. According to the thesaurus, hopeless is - "bad, beyond recall, cynical, dejected, demoralized, despairing, desperate, despondent, disconsolate, discouraging, downhearted, fatal, helpless, ill-fated, impossible, impracticable, in despair, incurable, irredeemable, irreparable, past hope, pointless, sad, shot down, sinister, sunk, threatening". Sometimes we can't seem to grapple hope in such a hopeless world not to mention love in a loveless world. There have been times that I have lost hope for myself, for my own life, and for my dreams, but we must not give up on hope. As much as I wanted in the past to give up on my dreams, I am glad I didn't. Here I am almost 12 years later about to finish my degree. It took me twelve years, but I never gave up. I lost hope many times but never gave up. The same applies to any current dreams we may have. I know that it is better to give up and say it will never happen. I will never be happy, I will never achieve my dreams but this isn't true. Don't ever give up. Even I have to remind myself this. We forget how we made it to our goals once we achieve them, but glad I was able to take this moment to reflect and remember what I had to go through in life in order to get here. There were many obstacles but I am grateful because I was always given the strength to continue believing. Believe in love, find hope in a hopeless place.

Forget Everything And Restart

When faced with fear we are tempted to give up, we are pushed to surrender but we cannot let go. We must not give up. There are days that I am forced to face with opposition in life, there are days when the circumstances I am faced with seem so unfair and I cry because I simply don't like what I am seeing. Frustration takes over and the patience that I claimed seems to start failing me. My persistency to succeed and move forward is hit, we want to give up. Pain and sadness sneaks up on us and tries to bound our feet from moving forward, it paralyzes our dreams. One must not give up though. Those pains that sneak up on us try to establish a fear in us. What does that FEAR do? It limits us to what greater things are prepared for us.

I sometimes find that I am tempted to surrender to fear, let it control my present. FEAR is a result of a belief that something terrible will happen. FEAR of being in a relationship because you might get hurt. FEAR of being single because you will never find someone. FEAR to go to school because you can't see yourself being smart enough to make it. FEAR of not going to school because you will never reach your dreams. YOU see fear will limit. SOMEONE over the summer taught me such a valuable lesson. NEVER, EVER make a decision out of fear -- why? Because if you make a decision out of fear you are already setting limits to the results of that decision. The decision made out of fear will be short term -- and perhaps have permanent damage. When we make decisions out fear we will compromise ourselves because we are afraid that if we don't make this decision there will be no other options for us. So you choose, whether you want to live your life in fear or love. "Perfect love will cast out fear" and I believe in that.

NOT always am I the best are living this but I have found that this is the best way to live your life. YES, we will have some fears in our lives. SURE, somethings will almost seem to make more sense if we do them out of fear, but partly there is a sense of control on our half and our lack of trust and faith will push us to compromise. Sure, I question why somethings are the way they are in my life now, I won't even lie. I doubt at times that things will work out for me, but that is short term. ON the long run I know deep in my heart that I will get to where I need to get as long as I continue to believe. LIFE is too short to compromise ourselves to walk unhappy. I am compromised to myself to be happy. If I can't even love myself enough or love, love, then chances are I will be miserable but conformity has taken over. Don't misunderstand me, BE HAPPY where you are, but don't mistaken conformity for thankfulness. Life is intended to live progressively, NOT for us to never learn and grow. Lately, YES true, I am scarred sometimes, the past haunts us and the future just simply scares us. I guess that is why truth is the best way to live life is by the moment. We will use our knowledge of our past and our future to help us create consciousness of who we are but it will not control the outcome of what we will do. As tough as it may seem sometimes we simply need to restart and conduce ourselves in a forward manner. Just remember as Winston Churchill would say "NEVER GIVE UP" ... proceed with your goals .. move forward with your life. YOU CAN DO IT. Believe IT!

Consuming Fire.

There is a strong feeling of love that consumes my heart. Sometimes I don't even know what to do with this feeling? I am humbled by this great overwhelming feeling that has wrapped my heart to a point where I don't even know how to keep myself from showing it. However, there are different levels of love that we will have for each other. All I can pray is that I can know that the purity of GOD's love is what keeps my heart pounding for HIS love. But what when you love someone that doesn't love you the same way back? Do you stop loving them or do you continue to shower them with GOD's love and deposit in GOD's hand the rest because there is just so much you can do. I can no longer hold back that love that consumes my heart, so much that my heart wants to jump out and just love everyone with so much passion. It is a fire that surely consumes but only because of that love. God's love is that one that consumes you with love. That consuming fire that we know of is that eternal love that GOD has for us. There is no fear, no evil, no wrong doing in LOVE. I cannot completely ever comprehend the intensity of GOD's love all I know is that it has taken my heart to another love. There are so many things one can do for LOVE one of them is to completely devote oneself to that LOVE one feels.

MY love comes from above and because it is derived from God's love I am able to experience love to a whole other level in my life. All I can do is embrace this LOVE because fighting it will lead me nowhere, I am surrendered to this powerful gift of LOVE. MY heart delights in YOU LORD because you are my strength and because the LOVE that POWERFUL love will be the one that will help me overcome evil with LOVE. I believe in the power of LOVE I believe that there is a fulfilling power in the LOVE GOD has given us.

Love and Respect

Relationships are about Love and Respect
While loving you is crucial for us to be together
Respecting you will insure us making it till the end
We build our life based on fairy tales dismissing the fact that reality
has to do with more important factors
Encourage me to love and respect you so that at the end these two
can continuously reinforce why being together simply makes sense
Not only will it help us make it work but it will prepare us to face the not
so workable days