Is it really such a bad thing?

this picture says how I feel right now.

Good or bad, not sure.

One week exactly.

So it's been one week since my fast started. I have to say that as time has passed by I am not so concerned about the fact that I have let go of cakes, candy and other sweets that I included in my list. I know that this may not be the case in 3 weeks, or when I am face to face with that cupcake goliath Grrrr. lol However, I do not plan on surrendering. I do plan on adding some other things to this small list of mine, perhaps after my 40 day fast I can commit to letting go of other things that are no good for me.

I am learning through this process that there are things that we sometimes hold on to, without realizing that we can actually live without them. We seem to hold on to all these "comfort" foods, moments, memories, and even people because we think this is what will make us happy at the end. We think without "this" we won't survive, and yet I continue to learn that my sanity will not rest on "these worldly" material things. We have to remember that even people (because we are imperfect) will fail us, so instead we will rest only on the LORD. I may not know what tomorrow will bring but I do know what today has promised. So as another day goes by and I am able to commit to this "routine" I have incorporated, I plan to continue to learn whatever I need to learn, slowly but surely. <3

Just one little try - Lent Day 4

Not to say that one little try will hinder you completely in your goal but I was tested today and can say with pride that I passed the test. I was already debating when I arrived to my friends house about the "cake" that was possibly going to be present at this gathering. I was telling myself, perhaps just one little try won't do me any harm. Disregarding the fact that this is a commitment I made to GOD and myself. It's those moments when we even contemplate the thought of one little try. It's that little try, that may lead us into the big fall. I sat in the couch saying to myself, hmmm maybe it won't even matter. I can't even believe i contemplated it. I was actually real happy to hear that I wasn't alone. That made it easier for me to say NO, and keep moving right along with the night. Without any worries of the cake creeping up, and telling me to eat it. We are in only day 4 but already I feel so much is happening, I know that a change is occurring and I can't wait for the end of this and the beginning of something else new.

Process - Lent Day 3

"What are you willing to do to get to where you want to get? " I just read a devotional about Abraham, and then heard a small message from TD JAKES, which got me thinking. In life, we don't always realize that there are things we have to give up in order to accomplish a goal. Yesterday I blogged about breaking bad habits and how difficult it becomes. Today I am focused on more the things the "somewhat pain" we feel in letting go the things that hold us back. Those things that hold us back can be memories, bad habits, certain people, or even ourselves. There are areas in our lives that we need to commit to changing or things we have to commit on removing in order for us to get to our destination. It's all a process, a perhaps not easy process but necessary for sure. I want to sometimes let go of many things because it has become so difficult but that is not the way to go about that situation. I have not yet pin pointed what are the things that hold me back from getting to where i need to get but I know that there are somethings that do get in the way. I want to be able to see a change "from the inside out" como dice Hillsong United. We cannot become content to just seeing the goal from far, seeing the victory from far. We have to get close to it. Reach for it. Never become afraid of he distance that may appear before us, that is just the process, which is necessary for our lives. All we can do is believe, and not lose hope for sure.

Lent Day 2 - Breaking bad habits.

I find it easier to pick up an old habit and leave behind the new habits I try to start in my life. Today I realized even more, how difficult it may be to say NO to something that is not even good for me. Peter shares something with us in Romans 7 - For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. there is so much truth in this verse that is relevant to what I am writing about. I find it so much easier to take the easy road to life. It is precisely that which we are warned about. We cannot live our lives just carrying on with the things that are not good for us. If we want to see changes in our lives then, we need to carry out the good that our soul truly desires for us. God does not command us to live a mediocre life. He wants us to enjoy it to the fullest, live it to our finest. If there is anything I will do is learn to identify the other bad habits in my life that need to be broken. The only way that I will be able to accomplish this is putting GOD before anything. So foremost, is our relationship with GOD, so he can then enable us to pursue the rest.

Lent Day 1

Today was the first day for Lent, and our pastors from church have asked us if we would like to fast from something during this time as well. I know that last year I had thought about doing this but never did commit to giving something up. Funny thing is that this morning, April emailed me asking me about this and I was like, OK this is meant to be lol. So after some thought I have decided to give up some specific foods: cakes, cookies and candy. I know that this is the start of the other goal that I have for myself. This is my second day back at the gym, and I have promised to myself that I would stop making excuses and do what I need to do. So part of my commitment to this fast from the foods I mentioned, I will also write everyday in my blog. I know that it's also remembering the sacrifice that Christ did for us. Our minimal sacrifice will never ever equal to the sacrifice done for us by Christ. I hope that in this process I may not only be able to rid of the earthly struggles that I deal with, but also bring me closer everyday in my relationship with GOD. I more than ever need his guidance in my life, and strength to not get lost in the midst of all I am doing.

Change of heart.

I know that I am guilty of allowing a disappointing event in my life to destroy my moral about pursuing a goal. Does that make any sense? But it's clearly nothing more than an excuse I have created in my mind to justify my lack of effort to make a change. I won't even try to justify my poor attitude and need to blame others for my effortless attempts. If I want to see a change in my life (specifically in my physical activity) I need to be able to move on, and not allow myself to be drowned by the pettiness of the situation. (As I am writing I am hearing, "Don't stop believing") And find that sometimes we fail to believe in ourselves because pain and hurt opens a door for insecurity, which subsequently leads to not believing that we can achieve our goals. If there is anything I have learned in these past few days is that, I have to just do what makes me happy. And change whatever it is that doesn't make me happy. I have been given this gift of life to be able to enjoy and make the best of it. Therefore, if I want to see change in my physical I need to make a change in my heart. No more excuses, it shall be done.

Seems like forever.

I know that I haven't been blogging like I should. Seems to me that I just can't seem to find the time to even write anymore. Recently I purchased a new MAC and think I won't be skipping out on my blogging anymore. I know that even though the goal of this blog was to record my efforts in running, I may have to adjust my blogging to my struggle in becoming physically active once again. I have been so short of breathe and not to mention the pictures. I have not even made an attempt to really workout, I had started kickboxing classes but seems to me like I never have time and the strength. I know that its just about making the effort and determination, but I seem to lack of that recently. I have to get my life together as far as my "exercise" and not continue to make all these excuses for myself. Today I found that I was having the worst stomach pains, I am not even sure what it is. NO excuses though, that's for sure. I will continue to write down my continues efforts to really make this change once again. Although, it seems like it's been forever, I will be more conscious and make an effort to get back on track.