It all started...

Yesterday in church, during worship the girls sang the song "If not for your grace" by New Breed. This amazing gift that was given to us called grace, that we are so unworthy of, started this sequence of events almost as if the Lord was paving the way for today. We are not always aware of what our life is being called for, we try for so long to figure out and sort things out in life. All I can think about yesterday was the grace of God and how it is enough. How, yes in the midst of whatever we face, we will be emotionally hurt, angry, frustrated, perhaps even confused but at the end of it all it is HIS GRACE that sustains us through it all. Can I just say the LOVE of GOD never fails to amaze me.

So today I walk in the office, and I can see how the LORD had the agenda pretty much prepared for me. I sit down and work besides one of my interns, whom for sometime now I have been praying for. These are girls that have gone through some things in life, and because of such have failed to see the true value of their life. Because of this they have taken some wrong turns in life, and struggle to keep their heads up high and they fail to see the LOVE that has been given to them, the amazing job that GOD has done to create each and one of us. Something led me to talk to her, and I won't get into details about our conversation but all I can say is that my heart was opened to an entire new world out there. I was never completely unaware of the needs of others, but it is when we have gone through our bits of hardships that we can truly become aware of the struggles of those around us. The one thing that I kept noticing is how low this young lady's self esteem was. I prayed for discernment as I spoke with her, and all I saw was the pain in her eyes. I was able to encourage her with some words, and intend to keep her in my prayers.

Not too long after, right in front of our office there were some teenagers (gangs) that were causing some chaos in the street. I looked out the window and was taken by surprise at the violence that was being displayed before my eyes. OK, so yes I have been exposed through the media about gangs and violence but never in my life had I seen this in front of my own eyes. I was in shock, a bit dramatic you may think, but it was just I was painfully shocked to see how these kids, almost babies were treating each other. Let's not go too far, it quickly reminded me of how much we hurt each other. We are so quick to take a stab at our brother's back, to push him down. How painful is that. Imagine I was not the parents of these children and it broke my heart how they had so much hatred and violence in their faces. How can we live in a world with so much hate and violence? Young kids, barely men and already being introduced into this world as savages. Not knowing that there is so much more to this life. My questions right away came, my mind was bombarded with the why's, how's, who's... all these questions on what has led these children to behave with such evil.

I know that this world is so corrupt, but can my light still shine in the midst of this darkness? My personal belief is well sure, without a doubt. Next question to myself is, How can I make that light shine? How can I help another see the transforming power of GOD, the ability to change our own course of life for the better. How can you break those chains from the past? I have no doubt in my mind and heart that we are able to overcome these times of evil. Matthew 5:13-16:You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? ... You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hid... Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. We fail to see what GOD can do through us, we give up on our own selves. We lose hope in what we are able to do, and it is when we start failing to see the amazing job that GOD as he created us that we become available to the evil in this world.

You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s own people, that you may declare the wonderful deeds of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. Once you were no people but now you are God’s people; once you had not received God’s mercy but now you have received mercy. (1 Peter 2:9-10) Don't ever fail to see who YOU are. Perhaps there is not much you can do right now to save the entire world, but hey look at the bright side, it was taken cared of by the big man JESUS. All we are called to do is believe in who we are, the value, the price that was placed for our lives. They talk about what are the things we value the most and all I can think of is, how simply beautiful GOD created me. Well aren't we a little boastful Gaby you may say, but NO that is not my intention. I only intend to acknowledge the wonderful job that GOD did with me. Listen, if you see a painting that is a masterpiece do you not admire it and give it it's praise? We are the creation of GOD, we ought to praise the creator for simply doing a fine job with us. Not to say we are perfect, but we are beautiful. Any imperfections that you may be aware of, are simply a sign of maturity and an opportunity for you to fix it. Our sins, flaws, imperfections are not revealed to destroy us, but to restore us.

Bunch of things

I guess the title of my blog will make sense as you read the content of it. Last week, Friday, I have to say that I broke down. Why, you may ask? Here is the thing, so much has happened in this year, and as 2010 is ending I am realizing how much has truly occurred. OK, so I got a little off, that is not what I wanted to say. Back to Friday night, I was so stressed over this disgusting flu that was not leaving me. *cough cough.. yes I still am not completely well but I feel my body adjusting so much better. I had missed almost 4 days of work, and as incredibly exciting as that sounds, I was frustrated because I was unable to get anything done. I was worried about finishing up sorting the things in my apartment (from the move) and was so concerned about the homework, finals and papers that needed to be completed for school. I allowed myself to become overwhelmed with doubt and disappointment. Funny thing is one of the classes I was studying for was regarding our "coping" mechanisms and how sometimes we catastrophize the situation more than what we should. I tell you, thankfully my friend knocked some sense into me and I was able to regain my control and speak sternly to myself.

This leads to my next thought, I know that we encounter so much in our life. This past year as I mentioned briefly above, has not only brought me laughter but many tears along the way. I guess part of life is being able to go through all those moments and not ever lose hope that at the end all is for the purpose that has been destine from us from our divine father. Between trying to stay hopeful about our love lives, obtaining those good grades at school, keeping a good professional standing at work and trying to rebuild our relationship with GOD, we can say we become overwhelmed sometimes. In the path I have had to remind myself that if it wasn't for GOD I wouldn't make it, so I best make sure I involved HIM all the way down the path I have in front of me.

School continues to be a great priority in my life, and I have seen how much it has really benefited me. I am at 90 credits and I have never felt such an excitement about accomplishing a goal as I am starting to feel. I know that I am not done yet, but I sure do have my eyes set on the prize that lies ahead for me. I am seeking the LORD for guidance as far as my career goes, and honestly I am feeling the vision clear up. I still believe that there are some plans unknown to me, that truly I am excited to not know of. I only pray that I can continue to envision the bigger picture and keep myself focused. I am thankful for the relationships that have become stronger in my life and pray for those that have weakened. I continue to work on the areas in my life that need work but am thankful of what I have been able to accomplish. This came to my mind 2 days ago: "face your fears in order to defeat it". There is no way on earth that we will be able to accomplish or overcome those areas in our life that we struggle unless we face them. Don't be afraid of doing and aiming for the high goals. I continue to aim to become a certain size by next year, and little by little I will get there. So far, I have lost almost 25lbs. I know that I have so much to go, but I have learned that persistency is the key. Don't give up, look at the "fear" in the face and move forward. It is never too late, as long as you are willing.