Barefoot.

"What is wrong with my bare feet? I like walking barefooted." A Guatemalan, indigenous woman asked "Why do we need to wear shoes, why is it that when people visit us they want to put shoes on our feet? Is there something wrong with me not having shoes, I like to walk barefooted." As this woman walked in her bare feet, she seemed at peace, she seemed happy, shoes didn't make her happy. She couldn't understand why other people aren't happy that she doesn't wear their shoes. It's so easy for me walk in my own shoes, and see life only my own way. Do I ever bother to put on the shoes of others? As I was ready to call it a night, and after I published this blog, in bed I wondered about what I had written,in tears I decided, I must add to this. All I can think about is the images of the many people I met, the stories I heard. So many times, we think we know what others have gone through and we really don't know. We don't even bother to ask or care because our society has taught us not to care, or simply have no time to care. During this trip, I was intentional of not assuming to know what the people of Guatemala go through. I purposely tossed any idea I had of Guatemalans, and made it a point to listen to them and try to walk in their shoes. I don't think I can survive a day in their shoes, but I attempted to. Even the few days I spent with them, I barely slipped on the shoe, and I can feel the pain burdening my heart. I am asleep in bed, not a perfect life, but not worrying about my lands being seized by large cane sugar companies or mining companies wanting to build mines where I plant my next meal. I can only reflect on the many miles they had to walk, literally and metaphorically. Can I even walk barefooted, endure the pain of this path? While listening to klove, Scott, spoke about Syria, and the tragedies this country is facing. We pray for this country, pray for peace, and protection. I won't attempt to discuss or debate on what has been going on because honestly I don't know enough. However, one thing Scott did point out was the story of Jesus, how Jesus became man to walk in our feet, Jesus didn't bring us his own shoes, and imposed them on us, he simply, came to this world as man but GOD and set the example. If only we committed our lives to walk in the shoes of others, understand their pains, and journey with them, I wonder how different this world would be. May her story inspire me to understand to respect the path that others have walked, never undermine their story, because we all have our own stories, and love on people. Respect People. Fight for Justice.

Simple things (post Guatemala trip)

I recently returned from my mission trip to Guatemala. I have to elaborate so much more on the details of my trip, however, I arrived a week ago and I am still internalizing my entire experience. In the meantime I keep writing the traditional "journaling" way. I did want to talk about "simple things" in life. One of my greatest internal conflicts has been this fight about what I have seen over the last 31 years of my life versus what I experienced in 3 weeks. What I thought to be valuable is not even in the radar of so many people I met. We are consumed by the latest fashion, the biggest house, the highest payed salary, etc, you get the point? Nothing wrong with being ambitious and wanting more in life, or is there? I walked through these very simple towns in Guatemala, in the Quiche region, one of the areas most affected by the internal conflicts of guerilla and military. In an area where so many people were massacred, I couldn't help but to think about their lives, their stories. I saw these stores called "pacas" that sold, all this "american" fashion, oh how they long to be like us. All I can really do is yell within me, and say no! Don't get me wrong, not because I don't love my country (US) but because we have it all twisted. We get in debt to stay in fashion, to have the latest car, even the best education. To them, we are the greatest. I couldn't help but to stare out at the lands they had. The beautiful flowers, the green mountains, the running rivers, the small street vendors, the older person smiling saying "buenos dias" to me. The beauty in these things, oh the beauty. The simple walk in town, where the little old lady on the corner is trying to sell me fresh fruit, chopped and ready to eat. The simple walk in town, where all of a sudden we are stuck in traffic because there is music coming from the streets, school bands playing in a parade, all these kids, singing and dancing. All I can do is cry, yes, cry because it's these simple things that fill my heart. In a town where so much pain was endured, they still found joy in the little things. That night the group of ladies that were traveling with me were ready for bed, I felt the bed I would sleep in and with so much excitement yelled, oh yes a nice and comfy bed, with a "fluffy" pillow, tonight I will sleep like a baby. I was wrong, I didn't sleep. At 2:00AM I heard firecrackers and folks serenading with "marimbas" a traditional Guatemalan music. I laughed, I said, there goes my sleep. They partied all right, partied so much I didn't sleep that night, lol. All these small stories makes me rethink about what I appreciate in life, I won't lie I certainly appreciated silence at night hahaha. No but really, I was inspired to value more in life, not because of what these families didn't have,because in many cases most of them have never probably seen all the things we fill our apartments with, that in reality put very little use to. They valued other things in life, they value the water from the rivers, the lands that brings them food, the air that fills their lungs. These simple but important things, that we take for granted. These mayan speaking families, protect these lands with their lives, and have lost their lives because it's all they know.

I ask myself, what are the things in life that really matter and I dare ask you, what are some things in your life, that really matter?

Resiliency: pursuing your own dreams.

Things are stirring within me. I think some of you will relate to how I am feeling. If you are an independent person, born sometime within this century, I know you will understand where I am coming from. I have to be very honest with you, I don't do well sharing all my emotions hmm, pretty much all the time. I can articulate other topics but my emotions, boy oh boy is that tough. I can see my friends read this and nod firmly in approval. I have chosen to write about this today, because although, this is not a common blog post for even me, I have felt the need to embrace every stage in my life as I am learning an intentional dependency on God. Now to my non-church folk, I am so sorry this will probably make even less sense to you.

Dependency, what is that? I know, so hard for us these days to know the balance. A child of immigrant parents, becoming independent is probably a prerequisite for us. My parents traveled from Guatemala, and all I can remember is them working hard, hard work all the time, everyday, no excuses. Never did my parents give up. Resiliency should have a picture of my parents in the dictionary because honestly that's all I can think of when I see that. So I sit here thinking, what was my parents dreams? What drove them to be so resilient and endure hardships in their life? How come they were able to cross the border, that's right they did that. Overcome language barriers and some stereotypes of who they were and what they came to do to this country. Learned, a new culture, a new language, left their families in Guatemala and all of this for what? My parents were resilient. I think about my life, my own struggles and what I have done to reach my goals. I have to say, I fall so short to their resilience. I think about my own dreams, and the many times I feel like giving up, and say, where is my resilience? Not saying I haven't endured my own challenges in life, however, all I can sit right now, and say to myself is Gaby where is your dream, and are you resilient? It's easy to push others to their dreams, but what stops us from pushing our own?

Recently my dreams have been pretty out of the ordinary. I will be the first to admit to this. I guess, it really doesn't make any sense, at least to the measure of my standards of "common sense" - I can't help but to meditate on the words that were shared with us by my pastor on Sunday. What forms my thinking? Why am I so challenged to not embrace this dream, I am dreaming. My heart is beating fast and it's a love that doesn't make sense in my mind, but my heart and soul are at peace, as I think about this dream. It is these things that go agains our human nature, and I challenge myself because I ask, how can I be possibly think that this will work? By this I mean "dream" - I know right now this all may sound like crazy talk, you see what I mean? I am learning though, I don't have it mastered yet, but I am sure learning. Even if it seems crazy, push your dreams, don't let anything get in the way, especially not yourself, and your powerful logic. I know that all my logical thinkers can appreciate this. What your mind cannot see, let your heart embrace.

Glass half full or half empty?

Previously I wrote about how we were our own worst enemy. And I believe that this topic pretty much follows the same train of thought in some way. Recently, I was experiencing some real low moments in my life, not because of any reason in particular I guess just an accumulation of different things. None of these situations called for such attention but still I couldn't help but to feel sad about some things in life. We all know perfectly well that life never goes as we plan it to go. What the heck, even when I don't plan for it.. my not so sketched out plan still seems to suck sometimes, now that is bad. lol Our life may sometimes have a load of problems what we have to deal with, and disappointments but in addition to those we are surrounded by blessings that sometimes we ourselves are not even aware of. One thing about our faith that sometimes troubles is really putting things into a greater and more positive perspective, even when it is really not such a pretty site. I think many times I am considered a giddy very cheerful almost a little too positive in the eyes of some. And I won't argue I do seem a little more positive than other people but I guess it is in my nature to help people see the light that is found at the end of the tunnel. Now that doesn't mean that I have faced my moments of despair, because surely I have. Some frightful almost helpless moments where I question many things in my life. I even sometimes find myself being super hard on myself because things that are beyond my control I seem to want to become accountable for. It is this superwoman syndrome, I have somehow acquired, not by choice that is.

Now, I find that my faith in those moments of despair is what keeps me floating. Notice how I said floating. Sometimes the trials in our lives throw us deep into the water like a storm in the sea and swimming is not even a choice anymore. Imagine this for a second with me, just imagine yourself in the sea on a ship things were nice.. the wind was blowing at it's normalcy and then all of a sudden that weather takes a shift for the worst, like in life. All of a sudden, you find yourself like Jesus disciples in the sea and this storm seems to want to kill you, throw you off track, off the boat. Guess what, maybe just maybe, you will be thrown into the water because of this sudden storm... maybe even lose some air and drink some water in the middle of all of this but guess what you are still floating. I see my faith as my floaters, even in the worse situations of life. These little, simple balloons on your arm , the things they can do. That is your faith. I don't know what your fear may be but find what will keep you floating in those stormy moments.

That takes me to my faith and what keeps it going. I was hearing a friend preach on this character in the bible called Mephibosheth (2nd of Samuel 4:4) I was sooo-oo intrigued by this character, let me tell you why. Mephi (my nick name for him) was only 5 when his father Jonathan and grandfather Saul passed away) Mephi's nanny, the moment she heard the news rushed out and took Mephi far where he would be protected. In the process of leaving the nanny drops him and now Mephi is crippled. Time passes and Mephi continues with his life, even has children of his own but one day is requested by the king. Mephi was terrified when King David requested for him to visit him at his palace. This is it.. was probably what Mephi said to himself. David is going to kill me for sure. Poor Mephi little did he know if the promise that David had made Jonathan (his father). --- David spared Jonathan's son Mephibosheth,* who was Saul's grandson, because of the oath David and Jonathan had sworn before the LORD.2 - 2 Samuel 21:7--- Mephi had no idea, according to him his life was over. So what is my point you are asking? We live our lives crippled many times because of the mistakes of our parents or even grandparents. NOT to say that I encourage for people to live chained to their past but I do acknowledge that our past can have an affect on who we are today. Like Mephi, we are all promised a redemption plan. We do not have to subject ourselves to being crippled for he rest of our lives. Crippled by our past, even crippled by our present. Mephi didn't realize that his father had made an oath with King David, and because of this oath he would be redeemed from his families chaos. Our chaos can very well be our world, this world we live in. Our environment, our friends, our family even ourselves. However, we have to trust the promises that have been given to us.

Like many of us Mephi's life was good in the beginning, he came from a life of royalty, he probably had all the money he needed as a kid, toys, he had it all, he was a son of a prince. Things changed for him though. Life took an unexpected turn. Such that he had no control over, this was out of his hands. And then to top it off he is crippled because his nanny dropped him. Man oh man.. did things change for Mephi. It is sooo much easier in a situation to say "It's not fair" and I know that we are tempted to do so many times. Like Mephi we say, but why me? things were so much better.. life would have been great. However, we cannot dwell on what we don't see, but see what is in front of us, what is that we are missing out on. Mephi's curse was turned into a blessing. His families disgrace wasn't his disgrace, he was blessed at the end of it all.

Remember there was a promise that HIS now KING David had made with his father, it still stood. The promises of GOD stands in our lives also. Mephi didn't know this. As we sometimes don't know. In order to keep on in life it is important to have faith and believe. Believe in the person that GOD has created you and the purpose you have been appointed for. We get so lost in our lives because we cannot find our purpose. We cannot see the hope that lies ahead for us. It is time to change that. Mephi's situation and past didn't change. He was still crippled, and his past didn't change but his future would. What a promise can do! This story not only proves the importance of the integrity of King David but how the integrity can save the life of another. Everyday you will be blessed to be surrounded with people that you will impact in a negative or positive way. May our integrity and character never be stained. May we come to see the importance of our faith, and carrying our faith everywhere we go. Living a life of integrity, passion and commitment. Taking a stand for the things that are right, and doing what should be done. This all starts with us, and ends with us.

As we continue to journey in this path called life, may we remember that his promises will keep our faith standing. We have to believe and never loose trust. At the end of the day we chose whether or not we will live our lives to the fullest or give up on life. We will chose to LIVE and live STRONG. Turn your curse into a blessing today.