Barefoot.

"What is wrong with my bare feet? I like walking barefooted." A Guatemalan, indigenous woman asked "Why do we need to wear shoes, why is it that when people visit us they want to put shoes on our feet? Is there something wrong with me not having shoes, I like to walk barefooted." As this woman walked in her bare feet, she seemed at peace, she seemed happy, shoes didn't make her happy. She couldn't understand why other people aren't happy that she doesn't wear their shoes. It's so easy for me walk in my own shoes, and see life only my own way. Do I ever bother to put on the shoes of others? As I was ready to call it a night, and after I published this blog, in bed I wondered about what I had written,in tears I decided, I must add to this. All I can think about is the images of the many people I met, the stories I heard. So many times, we think we know what others have gone through and we really don't know. We don't even bother to ask or care because our society has taught us not to care, or simply have no time to care. During this trip, I was intentional of not assuming to know what the people of Guatemala go through. I purposely tossed any idea I had of Guatemalans, and made it a point to listen to them and try to walk in their shoes. I don't think I can survive a day in their shoes, but I attempted to. Even the few days I spent with them, I barely slipped on the shoe, and I can feel the pain burdening my heart. I am asleep in bed, not a perfect life, but not worrying about my lands being seized by large cane sugar companies or mining companies wanting to build mines where I plant my next meal. I can only reflect on the many miles they had to walk, literally and metaphorically. Can I even walk barefooted, endure the pain of this path? While listening to klove, Scott, spoke about Syria, and the tragedies this country is facing. We pray for this country, pray for peace, and protection. I won't attempt to discuss or debate on what has been going on because honestly I don't know enough. However, one thing Scott did point out was the story of Jesus, how Jesus became man to walk in our feet, Jesus didn't bring us his own shoes, and imposed them on us, he simply, came to this world as man but GOD and set the example. If only we committed our lives to walk in the shoes of others, understand their pains, and journey with them, I wonder how different this world would be. May her story inspire me to understand to respect the path that others have walked, never undermine their story, because we all have our own stories, and love on people. Respect People. Fight for Justice.

Finding hope in a hopeless place..

Happy New Years 2012!

I can't believe how fast time has flown, we are now in 2012 ... it seems as if just yesterday I was 19, but we know that is not true. :) Yesterday a friend of mine asked me about my blogging and the fact that I hadn't blogged recently. She was right, I have had so much on my mind but hadn't had the chance to write because of all my school work, aren't I glad that I did today though. My last semester towards my bachelors approaches, in approximately one week I will be done with my semester culminating my bachelors degree, Aleluya! It is a dream come true. It is my reality. For so long I battled about completing this degree, for whatever "non-justifiable" reason I found, in other words making excuses. Truth is, we all encounter times in our lives where we have these dreams, these future goals and plans that seem so far away to us. So far at a distance, that we are to afraid to believe in them because, they are barely visible. It is almost as if these dreams will never happen, and then boom, next thing you know it your dream has become a reality. Now, I ask myself, how exactly did this transition from dream to reality occur for me?

For so long I doubted my ability to achieve this goal. I have to admit at some point I didn't even want it anymore, only because I figured I was better not having it. But in the pit of my being, there was a small, very small chunk, that I was unaware of, that still believed in me and wanted it. I had my fair share of bloopers in my life as we all do, but they are simply lessons learned. I faced some hardships and so many changes in my life that simply made it easy for me to say, "this is too tough, I must quit". I am so glad that I didn't. I thought to myself, I am better off not wanting more for now because I will not manage it. I was wrong and right at the same time. I tell you why, although that time in my life didn't necessarily feel equipped to do it, it was really up to me to make that effort to want it enough to commit to the responsibility.

Looking back, today, I realize these past two years have not been any easier but what was different? Believe me, I had plenty of "good" reasons to say, perhaps this is not my time, or I must simply leave it for later but, I didn't. I was determined to continue. Today as I examine my life, I realize that my efforts were not ineffective they paid off. My emotions weren't always in my favor, staying focused was so difficult and I found myself contemplating complacency in my life, but I stayed determined, I didn't give up.

There is a song from Rihanna that has been flooding the radio, I have to admit I am kind of hooked on it. The title of the song is "We Found Love in a Hopeless Place", what does this have to do with what I was saying earlier, you ask. See, here is the thing. I find that sometimes , this is the truth in our own world we are hopeless because of the troubles we face. According to the thesaurus, hopeless is - "bad, beyond recall, cynical, dejected, demoralized, despairing, desperate, despondent, disconsolate, discouraging, downhearted, fatal, helpless, ill-fated, impossible, impracticable, in despair, incurable, irredeemable, irreparable, past hope, pointless, sad, shot down, sinister, sunk, threatening". Sometimes we can't seem to grapple hope in such a hopeless world not to mention love in a loveless world. There have been times that I have lost hope for myself, for my own life, and for my dreams, but we must not give up on hope. As much as I wanted in the past to give up on my dreams, I am glad I didn't. Here I am almost 12 years later about to finish my degree. It took me twelve years, but I never gave up. I lost hope many times but never gave up. The same applies to any current dreams we may have. I know that it is better to give up and say it will never happen. I will never be happy, I will never achieve my dreams but this isn't true. Don't ever give up. Even I have to remind myself this. We forget how we made it to our goals once we achieve them, but glad I was able to take this moment to reflect and remember what I had to go through in life in order to get here. There were many obstacles but I am grateful because I was always given the strength to continue believing. Believe in love, find hope in a hopeless place.

L-O-V-E

Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
1 Corinthians 13: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Many times I have wondered, what is it with LOVE that keeps us believing without seeing. I will speak from the heart here. I know that many woman once they hit a certain age struggle accepting that GOD still has control over the relationships that we will build upon and what will come out of them. I know that our generation continues to evolve, and marriage has become a challenge to many. For many reason I find that our generation thinks much more before getting married. Reasons may vary, some woman have been hurt, some woman insist on accomplishing there goals and others just are disappointed with past relationships they have seen or been a part off.

I know that it is hard to believe in something you thought was real and then somehow that image was destroyed. Many use the word "I love you" without knowing the true meaning of it. There is a perfect example in Christ of Love. I have to say that because of CHRIST I have been able to understand the true meaning of love. This morning I began to read, because something about the phrase "LOVE is hopeful" had me going for days. I know that sometimes fear will knock at our doors, especially when we see that things may not be turning out the way we presumed they would. Sure, we are human and that will create some uncertainty. In my lifetime I have seen a number of heartbreaks I have seen other say they love each other and hurt each other. I have to admit that was my basis for love before, I took in what others experiences were and thought well if this is "LOVE" then I am not interested.

(Understand this is hard to admit) I remained with a negative mindset and told myself that regardless of what I saw, I wouldn't want to fall in love. Even when I was in a relationship I wanted to love but found that I was limiting my heart and like the bible says "my heart was far from it". For years I didn't know what was it in my heart that didn't let me accept this LOVE, or further yet give it. Oh, and don't get me wrong I love my friends and family but somehow it was very limited. I was so afraid to give it all in, not because I wouldn't get it in return but because I thought if I keep it at a distance then it wouldn't be the LOVE that I saw in so many people the one I didn't want to experience.It is so important for us to be that perfect example of LOVE that JESUS asks us to be.

These past 3 years of my life have been the most crucial I feel. Things I never was able to see, I now see. Things I never was able to feel, I feel now. Things I never knew existed, exist NOW to me. The fear try to still haunt me but I continue to abandon those fears, I have made a choice. Joyce Meyers says that to LOVE is a decision we make in our relationships. Different from falling in love. I have decided to love, and despite what bias, logical reasons my mind may try to put before me to prevent me from loving completely, I will love unconditionally or try to follow the example left by Jesus. Love is hopeful, and it perseveres. We can't lose hope because like my top verses says: without hope your heart will become sick. I want my love to be like that tree full of life, full of hope!